Welcome, Baby!!

I'm proud to announce the arrival of my newest little man to my blog family!! Baby came supposedly 5 wks early on June 30th, and I'm so excited that I was able to have the VBAC I longed for.

Here's my birth story... it may have bodily-related details you aren't interested in, just warning!

I'd begun noticing my Braxton-Hicks contractions picking up over the last couple of weeks, but they were so irregular they never caught me off guard or anything. I do remember feeling impatient with the pregnancy in general, all the diabetes complications, and just the huge feeling of discomfort I'd been having. I began asking Hunny and my doctors if I could have been any further along, but the simple answer was "who knows." I didn't share all the issues that had surfaced with my maternal-fetal appointments and the huge disappointment that I felt when told I'd no longer be able to try for VBAC due to the large size of the baby, and I'll admit to feeling frustrated that I'd have to endure another surgery and still be Mama to the two at home. I even asked at my latest appointment, "What if I go into labor before the 13th (my scheduled amniocentesis date); will I be able to labor then?" with the answer being "no." Needless to say, I was crushed and trying hard to deal with the disappointment.

On Sunday the 28th I began noticing a pattern to my Braxton-Hicks, but while they were still "weak," they were very noticeable. I contracted from 6:30 pm to about midnight, and remember getting very excited and telling Hunny, "This could be it!" However, they completely stopped after midnight, and I went to bed and woke the next morning with no new changes. I assumed I'd just experienced "false labor," and Hunny was golden in gently reminding me that all contractions are practice and thus a "forward" motion, not backwards as I was making them out to be! :)

On Monday, my back was hurting all day, which I just chalked up to sleeping fitfully (wondering if I was in labor or not), and the contractions came back, but they were on again/off again so I didn't think much of them. I asked Hunny what he thought of me trying some of the so-called "natural induction methods" out there, and he admitted some skepticism but was willing to do whatever I wanted to do. We'd already eaten a spicy curry on Sunday, I'd increased some of my physical activities, and I was getting so ready to be unpregnant, so I asked him to pick up a bottle of castor oil. (DISCLAIMER: this was not sanctioned by my OB (I didn't ask her opinion) and thus I in no way offer this as medical advice!!) I took a tablespoon in some juice right after dinner, and proceeded to clean the house a little more vigorously (vacuumed and swept, etc), and waited for the horrible bowel symptoms that are supposed to result from the castor oil. They never showed up! I was tired and decided to lie down, and when I did I realized my contractions increased. Seeing if they would help, I started to manually stimulate my nipples, and sure enough, the contractions both increased in intensity and regularity. I wanted to stay lying down in case it was the real deal and in case it would be a really long night, but I found that my anxiety and excitement kept me from sleeping at all! I called Hunny to pack some things (because as of this point, I'd only made a to-do/to-pack list, not actually packed anything for the hospital!), and this is when the light clicked on in his mind/heart and he just KNEW this was when we'd deliver! Unable to sleep, we traded places so I'd be out in the living room and he'd try to sleep as long as he could. I spent the next few hours surfing the Internet for first stage labor symptoms (!), and my water broke at 3 am on Tuesday the 30th. When this happens, I go wake Hunny up to tell him, and we spend the next bit of time trying to figure out what the best course of action was regarding the boys and me getting to the hospital: do we wake them up or me drive myself? We chose the latter, much to Hunny's chagrin. So, around 4 am I drove myself to the hospital, and it's funny the things I thought! I remember being happy there wasn't any traffic, being happy it was June and not July (Bear's birthday is in 2 weeks), and just happy that driving was a pretty decent distraction from the definitely increased contractions (they got much worse after my water broke).

I get to the hospital and check in, and of course am immediately subjected to all the IVs, and monitors. I was literally tethered to the bed, and even though I knew (and remembered from Bunkin's birth) this would make labor more difficult, I was still attempting a natural labor. I kept asking the nurse if it was okay if I continued to try to VBAC, and that's when she was like, "oh, there was an issue with this?" DOH! keep your mouth shut, Misty!! :)

After 7 am I began doubting my ability to keep going med-free. I hadn't heard from Hunny and I was beginning to panic if he'd even make it to the hospital since I had the car. My nurse was awesome at encouraging me to do whatever I needed; she helped me breathe and low-moan through the contractions, but I began to lose control because all I could focus on was Hunny not being there for the birth! I finally got a hold of him and he let me know that my sister B was coming home from work to pick him up, take the boys to her house and drive them to the hospital. At this point I gave in and asked for medicine because I just didn't feel I could do it without help anymore. I am actually really happy I got the epidural; it helped me relax, and I went from a 3 to 9 within an hour!! (I'd arrived 80% effaced and 3cm dilated) When my OB showed up she said it would be okay to just let my body keep working and see if we could wait for Hunny to show up, but I got to a point where I couldn't resist the urge to push any longer, so the nurse directed me to push a few times, and in walks Hunny and B, just in time to actually see me deliver Baby!! I was so glad they got to be there! I didn't tear and the delivery itself was mostly uncomplicated (I had a little extra bleeding than they normally hope for, but it was well-controlled quickly).

Baby was allowed to nurse pretty soon, but when they checked his sugars (required because of my diabetes), they were way too low: 22 out of minimum 45. They took him to the NICU, and he's been there ever since, but I'm so glad the hospital has been so supportive of my desire to breastfeed. I've been on a strict schedule (every 3 hrs) to attempt to feed him at the breast, but we've supplemented every feeding to maintain his sugars, which he now has (PTL). We are getting him weaned off the glucose IV, and while I'll go home tomorrow, he'll prayerfully join us this Saturday!

I'm so blessed and happy that despite all my fears and obsessing over the "worst case scenario" that God saw and met the desires of my heart and allowed me to deliver this little boy with a normal vaginal birth with no complications other than Baby's sugars. He is a beauty and so sweet, and we are so in love with him!! Welcome to the world, sweetheart!

Cloth diaper giveaway!

Oh my, way too much time has passed since my last post, but please, if you are praying for Josiah and his parents, continue to do so! I know Merri and Stephen have appreciated everyone who has lifted their sweet family in prayer!!

I have so much to write about and catch things up, but I'll start with OH MY GOODNESS, I have less than 50 days til this baby is born!!!! There's a lot that goes into that (while I'm technically 31 weeks, I'll be delivering by 38 weeks at the latest... so soon!), which of course means my mind is in overdrive!

One of the things I'm most excited about doing with this little man is starting him in cloth from the beginning. Since potty training is nonexistent not working at this point with Bear, I may have three kids in diapers, which means a lot of money! One of the reasons I never started Bear and Bunkin in cloth from their hospital days was my prefolds were just so huge on them. As I wrote before, I have some newborn sized dipes, and I'm very excited to get going with them!
As an additional boon, Simple Mom is giving away some cloth diapering options on her website. She has an EXCELLENT series on cloth diapering if you haven't heard me laud them enough! She has a great review of several of the major brands, and you or I could potentially be a winner of one of these brands, so go on over and check her out!!

Boys, boys boys

Just a very very quick blog update.... we are having another little boy!!!! I'm very excited, and Hunny is .... beyond thrilled! I think he may have smirked a little. He, at least, has a clue of what is to come, whereas I am completely naive sheltered! So, here's to the next half of our pregnancy. Oh, and I did meet with my dietitian today, and she wasn't as alarmed by my glucose readings as I have been, so I hope that is good news. I'm still trying to be diligent.

On unrelated notes, I'm about to pull out my hair with this silly baby romper, and if anyone wants to volunteer to make it for me, help yourself! Lastly, if anyone wants to pray that our house gets well soon, we'll take it; I'm just very very ready for all of us to be healthy and well and stay that way for a while!

Motherwear's Breastfeeding Carnival

Welcome, Motherwear blog Carnival of Breastfeeding readers!

My 2009 Breastfeeding Goals

Since becoming a mother 3 years ago, I have learned more than I thought possible, both about myself and who I would become as a parent. Without having a mother to turn to and ask a lot of specific questions, and only a couple girlfriends who’d had babies before me, I felt lost at times. I’m grateful that I did have a mentor in my life previous to my becoming a mom who casually told me about some of her child-raising experiences including co-sleeping, cloth diapering, child-wearing, and breastfeeding. When I finally had my first son, I knew that for me, not breastfeeding was not an option. That decision cost me a lot of tears in those first few weeks while Shea and I tried to establish a good latch and routine. Sure, I read a few books, some even with great pictures, but I didn’t feel brave enough asking for outside help.
Something magical happened around six weeks when it seemed as if Bear just “got it,” and our nursing experience became the sweet bonding time I’d heard and read about. When my second son was born, I again knew that breastfeeding would be the only way for us. Imagine my dismay when due to some glucose problems he had in the hospital, the nursery staff did not allow me to nurse him for almost our whole duration after labor. I almost gave up completely because he just would not nurse after the ease and ready milk provided by the hospital bottles. It took almost a full 24 hours with both of us frustrated before he gave in, nursed, and we successfully nursed for a year, and now I’m pregnant with my third child.
My breastfeeding goal for 2009 is just to relax and to be brave. With Bear, I discovered a few like-minded moms through AP forums and websites, and I secretly envied their ability to nurse in public with no qualms. With Bunkin, I got much braver and said “My baby comes first!” and was able to feed without too much self-consciousness. My breastfeeding advocacy has been mostly word-of-mouth, encouraging new moms of the benefits of breastfeeding, although I did join the Facebook group Hey, Facebook, Breastfeeding is Not Obscene. For me, relaxing and enjoying this new little one is paramount to what I have planned in 2009. If there are opportunities to share about my experiences, I would love to be an encouragement to any mom or mom-to-be, and encourage her to relax and be brave as well, because breastfeeding is truly a blessing. Breastfeeding is so much more than just milk, although at it's most base, at least it's about that! But thankfully it can also be about closeness, fingers entwined, baby eyelashes against baby cheeks, and that slow, steady breathing that means the world, for a while, is at peace.

(a picture of me and Bunkin when he was about 4 weeks old)


Check out some of the other breastfeeding goals (I'll update as the posts go live!)
Beautifulletdown
Hobomama
zen-mommy
Motherwear
Milkact
Breastfeeding123
Blactating
Breastfeeding123
Mamaknowsbreast
Breastfeedingmums

Disheartened

Have you ever done something that was stupid, but you kind of denied that you did anything at all, and so the effects grow beyond your initial reach? That's how I feel right now, although that sounds all hokey and ethereal and not concrete. My midwife called me last night to let me know that after running my hemoglobin A1C, a test to determine how my body has been processing glucose over time, I am officially diabetic. As in not just gestationally diabetic, but real-live, need-insulin diabetic. I'm so thoroughly bummed I can't begin to describe the depression that has settled over me. I am depressed because I know it's my fault, and I feel so stupid for being all talk and not enough follow-through in terms of dieting and lifestyle changes. I kept telling myself that if I ever got pregnant again, I'd do it right. Well, now I have no choice, and technically speaking, this puts my baby at risk. I am 86 lbs overweight and have continued to make poor food choices over the last few months, even before getting pregnant, and I was basically in denial that anything bad would happen. I know that diabetes is not the end of the world, and I should be very grateful that we caught it this early so that I can get on insulin and regulate my sugars for the health of myself and the baby, but I'm still so saddened by my lack of caring for the wonderful body God has given me. I pray that He would sustain me and help give me the willpower that I have lacked, and that meeting with my dietitian will give me the tools I need to continue making proper choices for this pregnancy. And for those of you who feel led to join me in this prayer, I am really hoping to still be able to have my VBAC. Being diabetic automatically makes me high-risk, and so there is a small chance that I may have to switch care to one of the OBs at my midwife's practice, and she told me that if that happens, my chances of a vaginal birth will decrease, which frustrates me all over again. Anyway, this has been weighing very heavily on me since yesterday, and I haven't been in the best of moods with my family, I'm sad to admit as well, so please just pray that I can do what I need to and be encouraged instead of discouraged.

Random bits

Here's another "bloggy salad" type post to say all those random things in one post.
The one that makes me happiest is I had my first midwife appointment yesterday. YES! I said midwife, and that feels so good to say, especially after meeting her for the first time yesterday. Her office is in the hospital at which I'll be delivering, and it's not like there were fireworks the minute I walked in (!), but the staff (all of them, even the receptionists) were so welcoming and informative. The nurse about chatted my ear off telling me about the way the practice runs and what to expect from a midwife, etc. When I did finally meet her after all the paperwork, it truly was like breathing a breath of fresh air. I know that sounds poetic and exaggerated, but it's not. I've had two rough go's with OBs I didn't care for, and to instantly click with her and know that she potentially would be the one to help me deliver my baby was just.... great. I am still trying for another VBAC, and so far we're on target for that. She was very enthusiastic that I wanted to be proactive this early on with the Gestational Diabetes, and that was encouraging as well. Basically it was a near-perfect experience for me; unfortunately my amazingly sweet husband who knew not only did I want to drive into Dallas for the first time unassisted let alone in the freezing rain, had to drive around w/ the boys in the car the whole time, and Bunkin got quite a bit fussy. The whole visit took 2.5 hours, so I don't blame him for being frustrated, either!!
Can I just say, though, that my boys are officially coming into their own? Bear is quite assertive with his little brother, and has a definite set of likes and dislikes, as well as a possessive streak as big as the state we live in!! Bunkin, not to be deterred, has sheer brute strength going for him, and it is pretty funny watching him successfully wrestle things away from Bear! I think we've got our hands full for the next 18 years! Someone, please send pink dust our way, pleeeeaaaase?
Does anyone have a really good dog-training book or video recommendation? Our little shelter adoptee is not doing very well, and I only remember the vaguest things from when I was obedience training our former dog Coco. I've been looking on the Internet, but as you can imagine, it is an infinite source, meaning that I'm not even sure where to start weeding out unreliable methods/information.
Lastly, I'm amending my "no resolutions/goals in 2009" stance, but that's because this particular issue is very important in terms of our family's health. Hunny has been having some issues that we are narrowing down to diet, so we may be revamping things seriously in the next while, and depending on the diagnosis/outcome, going to a gluten-free diet. I feel challenged by this, but kind of excited, too. I'm not sure if Celiac is hereditary, but I know that my mother and maternal grandmother both have it, so I think limiting or removing gluten from my own diet would probably be healthy. I know I still have a lot to learn about the diet, and I also know that we need to wait for an actual determination from Hunny's appointments. In addition to this dietary change, I will also be eliminating for once and for all (lol) high fructose corn syrup. I'm slightly abashed to admit that the foods that I rely the most on for convenience are those for the kids: waffles in the morning, breaded vegetarian chicken nuggets, etc. I'm trying to slowly steer away from pre-processed and -packaged foods like these, but first and foremost I want to get rid of HFCS. While I'm scrutinizing labels, I figure I'll go by the mantra of "if I can't pronounce more than 3 ingredients, don't get it." I feel it is finally time to engage my actions to follow suit with my heart's desire to feed my family as naturally and healthily as possible. Hunny will still be vegetarian, and I'm aiming for that unless my dietitian tells me to eat meat (I'm staying away from processed soy foods such as tofu, TVP, etc.) for the protein. I'm particularly interested in this experiment as I continue to learn about being frugal and simple, because my own experience has not been very successful with organic/natural foods coupons. It seems to me that buying generic foods is still usually cheaper, as well as coupons are so often for the convenience foods. We have a long road ahead of us as Hunny goes back to school, and there is a lot of motivation for me to truly have as a habit living frugally and on a wise budget so that we can set some money aside for when he has to be in school full-time (and if we're really wise and willing to live tightly, I won't have to work during that time). Phew! That was a lot of information!!
Anyway, I think that's it for now... sorry for such a random lot of uninteresting details!!