Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Letters to Myself, Part 4

This is the last letter in my series, and I'm sorry for the delay!

Dear 26 year old Misty,
You are in the somewhat unique and certainly precarious-at-times situation of being a new bride and an expectant mommy. Remember this first and foremost: God is faithful, even when His followers do not seem to be. The Church is full of people just like you who have sinned and who sin against others. Please don't let the condemnation you and Hunny have experienced make you so bitter you lose your trust in Him. But also own up to sin, be honest and real about it, and free yourself of the guilt that you carry. You have been given a wonderful gift-a precious baby boy growing inside of you. You're not going to believe how much life is going to change once he's on the outside!!
Love Hunny. No matter what. Remember how perfectly paired you two are, and seek to serve him in the little things. He loves you more than you even know, and he's going to be a pretty amazing daddy. Times are going to be hard for you two. There isn't much of a honeymoon period when you're hormonal and exhausted, and, um, you're going to be this way for several years. In a row. So rest in your husband's arms while you can before the little one(s) come, and when times seem too hard, pull those memories out and dust them off, display them on the shelves of your heart to remind him, too.
You know how you always compare yourself to everybody? Please quit that. It's not as much of an issue as a bride and wife, but as a mommy, you're going to face the toughest competition if you keep cutting yourself short. You will make mistakes. Plenty of them. But you'll also do some things correctly, and you'll even figure out that what works for you doesn't have to be what other mommies do, and that's okay. Use that god-given brain and mommy intuition!
And having a boy... what can I say? Your hands will be full. You will scream at him. He won't seem to have an off button. You will fall short. So will he. But He doesn't. There will be a moment very early on, where you will get a true glimpse of sacrificial love. Yes, my dear, it will be you doing the sacrificing. And as hard as it is, it's also the truest thing there is.
I wish I could tell you things will be easy and you'll get the hang of it sooner than later. I wish I could tell you that you'll always feel supported and secure. I wish I could tell you you'll never feel lonely. But I think you know why I can't tell you these things.
Just trust. You're not very good at it, but you need to get better. Trust Hunny. Trust the Father.
You've got some amazing times on the way, but I don't want to spoil them!
Love
Your 28-year old self

4 comments:

a Tonggu Momma said...

What a beautiful one!

suzannah said...

this is wonderful, and full of so much truth!

Biz said...

Hey Misty,
lovely letters. I love your expression.

Nicole said...

hey there
thanks so much for including me in your blogroll. your blog is great. so glad to find it.

look forward to connecting with you in the days ahead.